This time, let's look at the pain of separation, which is the subject of many songs, poems, and books. Your partner, whom you loved very much, made sacrifices for and said you couldn't live without, is no longer by your side. At the point when you can't sleep all night and wonder how you will cope with this pain, I cannot give you five items to help you get through this mourning process that you search on Google, talk to your friends, scroll through reels on Instagram and search for answers to yourself, and miraculously help you get through this process.
You can begin by accepting that this process is challenging, that you are grieving and that you are being tossed from one emotion to another. By seeing and hearing your feelings without suppressing them, you can consider yourself embarking on a journey. This journey may be long, and you may sometimes want to stop and rest. If you don't want to be alone on the road, you can ask for help from those around you.
One day, you will reach the end of that road; the important thing is to take care of yourself along the way. Navigating that path without being pushed, with help when necessary, sometimes disregarding the road ahead and focusing on the new things around you and exploring what feels good can help you find your own strength. According to research (Verhallen et al., 2019), the psychological effects of a breakup can include symptoms similar to depression. Severe stress, feelings of betrayal and rejection, depression, anxiety, obsessive thoughts about the ex-partner, and sleep disturbances can all be observed after a breakup.
Research suggests that women tend to experience higher levels of separation stress than men. It also suggests that gender differences in depression-like symptoms are related to gender-specific stress responses and a tendency to ruminate more during stressful times. As you can see, there are many factors in your journey.
If you're wondering when this journey ends, some studies suggest it begins to diminish in three months and ends in six, while others claim it lasts as long as the relationship you're in. The process is relative. Just as a person is unique, so too is the grief they endure, the path they follow, and the pain they endure.
Multiple factors influence this process. Your attachment style, your breakup, your blame toward your partner or yourself, and your coping strategies are some of them. If you're finding it very difficult to cope, and this journey is too exhausting for you, seeking professional support will be one of the best investments you can make in yourself. Multiple factors influence this process. Your attachment style, your breakup, your blame toward your partner or yourself, and your coping strategies are some of them. If you're finding it very difficult to cope, and this journey is too exhausting for you, seeking professional support will be one of the best investments you can make in yourself.
During this process, it's important to ask yourself, "What do I need?" and to listen to your needs. If crying means crying, resting means resting, moving means taking action, meeting your own needs, embracing yourself, and perhaps giving yourself the compassion you usually give out will support you in this process. If you're still wondering how this pain will go away, let's hear from our Founder, Dr. Selenga Gürmen: Can a magic wand make this pain go away?
